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4 Ways to Avoid a Gray Divorce

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Sometimes life starts again. Image courtesy of Flikr (sweetron1982)

Alarming Increase In Senior Citizen Trend

A “Gray Divorce” is a term used to describe the divorce of seniors and it’s a phenomenon that is on the rise. Bowling Green University published a recent study that indicated the divorce rate among the over 50 crowd had doubled in the last 20 years. That’s an alarming trend! Baby Boomers are aging so one could point to that as the reason why the number of divorces has increased. There are other factors involved as well including no kids at home and people are living longer so there is less tolerance for living with someone that isn’t compatible.

The proliferation and cultural acceptance of divorce may explain the uptick but there are other psychological factors at play such as the empty nest syndrome, dealing with life after retirement and the recognition of mortality. Whatever the reason for the increase in the divorce rate, here are some tips on how to stay together and enjoy your golden years:

Plan

Plan what life after retirement will look like for the both of you. Find some common interests that you may have let slip away due to the demands of working or raising a family. Be realistic as to the amount of time you’ll have together and possibly even plan on doing separate activities so you aren’t encroaching on your significant other’s personal time. The last thing you want to do is continue to plan and organize your life post-retirement but having a good plan in place can make your retirement and marriage enjoyable in your golden years.

Communicate

Talk and share. Then talk some more. Couples might find themselves at a loss for words when their children have left the nest. Too often couples lives have centered on the kids and they’ve lost their individual identities. Now that the kids are gone, you have to get back to yourself and rediscover all the things you had in common when you met and all the reasons you fell in love those many years ago.

Be Realistic and Accepting

Everything is not always greener on the other side. You may think you’d be happier with someone else, but chances are that other person has a lifetime full of baggage too. Not to mention the difficulties of trying to meet someone your own age. Also, be accepting of your spouse’s personality traits and realize that the good and the bad is what makes them unique and makes them the person you fell in love with. Celebrate all that you’ve shared and use those experiences to carry you into new ones together.

Make it New

You should view your retirement years as an adventure! You may not be wealthy enough to travel to exotic lands and explore the world but you do have an abundance of time. Make the most of it. Find new hobbies, rediscover old ones, make a bucket list, make it new, and have fun.

There are many reasons that people drift apart but there are just as many reasons, if not more so, for them to stay together. Enjoying your retirement and growing old together should be one of those reasons. Stop and think about all of the tough times when you were working and raising kids. Things don’t seem so tough now that you’re retired do they?

This Guest Post is provided by the Arizona Divorce Lawyers of the Cantor Law Group in Phoenix, AZ. For more information on all aspects of Family Law see their website here: http://cantordivorcelawyers.com


Additional resources:

Divorce in the Family: Information from Answers.com



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